When was the last time you heard about two adults going through a messy divorce?
Doesn’t it seem, that in contested divorces, things can go south fast?
Two people who were once loving, caring partners flip, switch and are suddenly out for blood. Many who have experienced divorce express how hostile thing can become and the damage that can take on all those around. Mental health experts agree that divorce is one of the hardest things an adult can experience in their life. That hardship is often compounded by the children involvement and stress through the divorce.
As Mommy and Daddy duke it out, children are often placed in the crosshairs. Consider this: adults don’t handle divorce well and they have maturity and years of developed self-esteem and healthy coping mechanisms. Children don’t have those coping mechanisms in place, leaving them ill-equipped to process the major life event of divorce.
Hollywood A-lister Kelly Clarkson and Brandon Blackstock announced their divorce recently. This signifies the termination of a relationship that spanned nearly 7 years, which featured becoming the parents to two children. Unfortunately, their children will undoubtedly be affected by the divorce, but the affects do not always have to be permanently negative. In the spirit of raising healthy children and protecting them from the pain and confusion that surrounds divorce, here are some quick tips:
Go the extra mile to make sure your children understand that they are loved and the divorce is not their fault. Reinforce this love often.
Don’t fight in front of your children. Don’t fight in front of your children. Don’t fight in front of your children. There, now you know how important this is!
Don’t bad mouth your partner to your children, forcing the children to take sides.
Aim and strive for peaceful hand offs (visitation)
When your children return home, send the right welcome message. Be interested and don’t transfer your feelings onto them. Pretend they came home from a weekend at your parent’s house.
Encourage open communication. Talk with your children and make it a habit to schedule regular check ins.
Allow your children to express disappointment if that’s what they are feeling. This is a continuation of the aforementioned point. However, children need to be encouraged and given a safe space to express their emotions.
Be flexible. Remember that life happens. Have a back up plan and be ready to make things work on the go.
Remember, there are millions of divorced children in America that are well adjusted. If handled correctly, with love and care, the impact of divorce on children can be minimal and temporary.
On the legal side of things, should you be contemplating divorce, or are in need of an attorney, don’t hesitate to give Carina Leeson, Esq. of the Kendrick Law Group a call. She is an experienced family law attorney that practices with vigor and compassion. Having an attorney to represent your interests and protect your rights is an important component of divorce. We are here to help, 407-641-5847.